Youzitsu Vol. 9

I mean, the official translation is most definitely a better reading experience. Compare the same passage (the begging of this volume):

Official

I’ve never really thought of myself as a good person, never thought of myself as a bad person. I suppose I’ve managed to become an honest person, just like my mother would’ve wanted.

Things were fine in elementary school and in junior high. I had lots of friends, guys and girls—everybody. I had a little trouble handling sports, sure, but I pushed myself just like I did with my studies. By my third year of junior high, I’d managed to become student council president, something I’d always aspired to. I’d even managed to get into a private high school as a scholarship student.

A nice school life.

A nice home life.

But I…I made a mistake.

Something that never should’ve happened. An unforgivable “mistake” that I never should’ve made.

The angry look on my ailing mother’s face as she lay sick in bed. Her tears. The look of heartbreak on my little sister’s face, hurt and distant as she was, retreating into herself, shutting herself away… I can’t ever forget it. It comes to me even now.

My trembling fingers.

My trembling body.

The creeping blackness spreading across my heart.

I tossed my third-year of junior high in the trash. For about half a year, I shut myself away.

But…one day, that all came to an end.

When I learned about this school, I knew I needed to put an end to it. I’d …bring smiles back to the faces of my mother and little sister again. I wouldn’t run away from my own “sin.” No, I’d face it head-on.

Or so I swore.

But…

I enrolled in this school with a dream, but an ordeal awaited me. When I found the letter, I completely froze, and all around me, my classmates turned to watch curiously.

I read the letter over and over. But no matter how many times I read it, the words refused to change.

“Ichinose Honami is a criminal.”

Fan

I’ve never thought of myself as either a ‘good person’ or a ‘bad person’.

I like to think I’ve managed to become an ‘honest me’, just like my mother wanted.

I had a comfortable life throughout both elementary school and middle school.

I had plenty of friends, both boys and girls.

I found sports rather difficult but I put in as much effort into it as I did my studies.

By the time I was a 3rd-year in middle school, I was even able to gain the title of student council president that I had longed for.

I was even offered a spot at a private high school on a scholarship.

A fun school life.

A happy private life.

But… I made a single mistake.

A mistake that could never be forgiven, a mistake I should never have made.

The angry face and tears that my mother, who had collapsed from illness, made at that moment.

The bitter face my little sister made after being hurt and left as nothing more than a shell of herself.

I could never forget.

Even now, I occasionally recall that moment.

My trembling fingers.

My trembling body.

A heart dyed black.

I wasted half of my 3rd year of middle school and I ended up becoming a shut-in for half a year.

But on a certain day, that ended.

When I learned about this school, I felt I needed to put an end to that.

In order to bring back the smiles of my mother and my little sister.

That’s why I won’t run from my own ‘answer’.

I will face it head-on.

Yes, that’s the oath I swore.

But-

At this school I enrolled at while embracing my dreams, I was confronted with a trial.

I found a letter and just froze up.

Around me, my classmates were turning towards me with curious looks.

I read the contents of the letter over and over.

And no matter how many times I read them over, the words did not change.

‘Ichinose Honami is a criminal.’